What to do when you don’t know what to do?! Ugh. I mean, like what to do when you have…
Suspicions?
Do you suspect you were sexually abused as a child? Like an intuitive voice deep inside you attempting to connect the dots of your life? Perhaps you have some evidence pointing in that direction? Or, sometimes, you experience a nauseous feeling or sense of foreboding anytime you encounter the topic of abuse with others or in books, movies, or on TV?
Maybe, like me, you have years of your life void of memory altogether? Like they never happened. Your memory leading up to and following those years is precise and detailed. But for a specific period…whoosh…your memory vanished. I have four, almost five, such years in my childhood.
Or do you have a sense of shame you can’t seem to shake? Or just a flat-out sense of wondering…although I would say it’s more like a sense of knowing something happened to you… but you just can’t quite put your finger on it.
What to do when you don’t know what to do?
A Place To Begin
Now, let me be crystal clear with you, sweet friend; I’m in no way saying you were sexually abused as a child if any of these items are true for you or if all of them are true for you. I am not saying that. I am not suggesting it either, in any way.
All I’m saying is an unanswered suspicion is a place to begin exploring to see if there is childhood sexual abuse in your past to address.
If this is where you are, here’s what to do when you don’t know what to do.
Ask The One Who Knows
My husband, Larry Dale, owns a remodeling company. He transforms tired, outdated homes into fresh, functional beauties. But before he begins any project, he first gives his client an estimate detailing the scope of work and the projected cost. And usually, within every estimate, there’s a PWK…Price When Known.
Every project has its PWK. Things you can’t see with your eyes. Invisible things. Inside the walls. Behind the sheetrock. Suspicions of childhood sexual abuse are like PWK things – things you can’t see with your eyes because the wounds and the destruction are internal – hidden within your mind, soul, and body.
So, what do you do with suspicions?
Well, you ask someone who knows the truth. And the only one who knows the truth…the whole truth and nothing but the truth…is God. The Scriptures tell us God knows when you sit down and when you rise up. He knows the number of hairs on your head. God sees you and knows you. And in fact, God knows everything there is to know about you.
And here’s the most important reason to ask God about the truth if you suspect you were sexually abused as a child – timing. If there’s sexual abuse in your childhood you can’t remember clearly, God will reveal it to you in his perfect timing. Looking back, I can see how God prepared me before allowing my memory to return. Only God knows how to prepare you for walking through the pain of addressing such a trauma.
What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do
Here I am oh God. I bring this sacrifice, my open heart, I offer up my life. I look to you Lord. Your love that never ends, restores me again. So I lift my eyes to you…” Complete by Parachute Band
If you have suspicions, take them to God. Talk with him about them. Ask him to dismiss them if they aren’t true. Ask him to confirm if they are true. And then wait on God to answer. In his perfect timing. In his perfect way.
I waited patiently for the LORD; He inclined to me and heard my cry.” Psalms 40:1
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Thanks for stopping by! Until we meet again, remember – Trusting in Jesus, you’ll have more treasure than pockets. From my heart to yours,
